CAFE LifeThe Art Of Facilitation
CAFE LifeI’m sure you have people you admire, but do you have role models – people you aspire to be like? This tendency came naturally to me as a kid. I had a role model for soccer, tennis, athletics, public speaking, and even for being ‘cool.’ I noticed what they did, how they did it, what they said, and becoming like them was the dream.
But as I became an adult, the intensity of noticing other people’s excellence as a pathway for my growth diminished. I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps the message of individuality had set in, where the goal became uniqueness rather than ‘copying.’ Or maybe it was a case of settling, of no longer seeking growth in excellence—the terrible notion of being ‘good enough’ rather than striving for ‘excellent.’
But if Trevor Noah or Siya Kolisi is my model, I realise that previous disadvantage does not define what is possible. If Novak Djokovic is my model, I rethink retirement age. If the single mom who works two jobs to ensure her children eat is my model, I realise that I too can navigate my challenges. Modeling those who have achieved excellence can be an incredible resource.
Eric
Greitens
I found this quote by Navy Seal and author Eric Greitens most helpful. Before going any further, maybe read it again and think about how helpful it is to you, if at all.
Ask yourself:
1. Do I know where I am seeking excellence? Seeking excellence is a deliberate journey and practice. We can’t aim for excellence without identifying the areas we want to excel in.
2. In any area where I want excellence, there are those who have journeyed toward mastery. Do I know who they are and what their story is?
3. No one person, outside of divinity, can be a model in every area. Someone might be an incredible model for one aspect of life but not in others. That’s okay. Models don’t need to be superheroes. They become models of excellence in specific areas.
4. Copying, emulating, and learning from those who have achieved is not weakness; it’s the path to excellence. While originality is admirable, the journey often starts by modeling those who have walked the path before us.
5. Having a role model for excellence changes or adds to the questions we ask ourselves. Instead of just ‘how do I do that,’ it becomes ‘who do I learn that from?’ The quality of our lives often hinges on the questions we ask, and ‘who do I learn from?’ is a powerful one that can shift mindset and action.
As I reflected on this, I realized that for some important areas of my life, I don’t have a clear model. Sometimes, my inability to name a model is due to a focus that’s too broad, looking for an overall life model rather than a role model in a specific context. For example, Elon Musk might not be your model for empathy or leadership, but he could be your model for innovation, vision, or entrepreneurship.
There are many benefits to having role models, including:
1. Role models are an important part of our social environment. Even if we don’t know them personally, they foster a sense of belonging. Growth doesn’t have to be a lonely path.
2. Role models demonstrate what’s possible. Beethoven, for instance, initially modeled Mozart’s work, but eventually developed his unique style.
3. Role models build resilience. Good role models have usually faced challenges. Knowing they too faced adversity can strengthen our resolve.
Well, this is the question that has become more and more important to me. Here are 5 areas I have identified, where for some I have a sturdy role model and where others need a pondering and settling.
Facilitation – Hey, that’s my game and from the start I have had the most inspirational model.
Courage – This is a virtue that always needs a focus on becoming better and stronger. I have a natural tendency to choose ‘easy and safe’ and the right role model helps make the ‘leap.’
Faith – Once again I have a strong role model here. She is no longer alive and yet this does not take away the impact she has on me, in how I want to express and live my faith.
Fitness and health – I’m needing to reconsider this one. Here my role models need to change based on the changing context of my age. I don’t have one yet.
Entrepreneurship – I do have a strong role model here; I just need to pay more attention to what he does.
This is just the tip of iceberg. What would be 5 areas for you?
