Questions For The Resilient – Where might I be inflicting paper cuts?

This is quite an ambiguous question. We don’t mean literal paper cuts, no, that’s not worth a blog write up. We’re using this terminology because firstly, we love visuals and examples. They’re so great at bringing a concept into reality. Secondly, it really is an appropriate naming for the kind of hurts we’re talking about today. A paper cut is the cut that is small and shallow, and generally not concerning. Paper cuts in our relationships are the seemingly harmless acts that cut just beneath the surface of another. But when transgressed consistently, it can create a wound that cuts down to the bone.

Healthy levels of resilience flow from strong networks. We cannot face this big world without a community of people that have our good intentions at heart where a deeper sense of trust is shared. This being true, means tat in the same manner that we should all be going for regular check ups with our local Doc, we should all be performing regular checkups on our relationships. 

Here's only a few examples of what can cause a paper cut:

– Consistently revisiting and discussing a sensitive topic for somebody such as a personal weakness of someone’s, a religion or believe or preference of living. 

– Repeated jokes that revolve around a personal trait of another, or something personal to them

– Not committing to social situations or being involved in them on a regular basis where your presence is desired or expected  can cause paper cuts that might make others form assumptions about why you aren’t coming, and make it personal upon themselves.

– Acting unaware of another or showing little respect for them and their priorities

Where am I inflicting a paper cut?

How can we discover the paper cuts we've inflicted?

Sometimes, the hardest thing about this is that the paper cut is a slight and shallow slice, so we might want to tell the person we’ve hurt, to get over it and stop being so sensitive. But we don’t always know how deep that wound is that we brushed past. We don’t know how far back it goes, or the true reason for it. Until we do, it is wise not to assume that we do.

We are stronger when we have strong relationships with people who want us to succeed. This question is about something that really wouldn’t matter to you unless it is involving somebody that matters to you. In order to be resilient, we must build and maintain strong relationships. To do this, we must pay attention to the smalls signals and effects we are giving out to others.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *