Questions for the Resilient – How could I have done that better?

As Mike and Mandy mention in Podcast #98, This question is inspired by a recent and true-life experience of theirs, where a desire to voice themselves sparked an argument. I can only think of a hundred odd moments like this in my own life…Voice is probably one of the most empowering tools that human beings have. And when that’s taken away, people are disempowerment.

How could I have done that better?

 And, in those places of learning such as the ones we discussed in our Resilient Nugget podcast last week, it’s important to applaud ourselves for merely showing up to the challenge in the face of hardship. 

Now we can, of course, sit in the puddle of blame and shame – giving our excuses for why we feel we should be there, and wont be able to improve. But doing this will mean that we’ll be sitting in that little puddle instead of learning to dodge them in the future. And that is truly the power of this question: it can move you away from being a victim, to now being a creator of growth; to being a student. 

This question is also so applicable for the work environment.

And yet, often there is resistance from people to engage with this question, because already they feel the conversation is going to go wrong (I suppose it’s like me bringing a banana to a gun fight, huh?).  But we have a voice, and even if we crash in the conversation, can we learn and do it better next time?

How could I have done that better?
To learn is like exercising a muscle – the more you work it, the stronger it becomes and the further you can go.

This question isn’t only true to something you’re not experienced in. It can apply to your niches and talents, too. The process must of course include us applauding our efforts – being judgmental of our failures is only the enemy to growth and one could say that celebration of your efforts is part of the whole formula.

There is a sort of ocean-like motion to this: celebrate, then grow. Celebrate, then grow.

Being aware of our emotions in and after situations is a clue to where you need to apply this question in your life. Whenever a tug of resentment or fear or anxiety may show, it could be a favor to ones self to remember this is a process.

First step: Show up and speak up. 
Second step: Ask yourself, how could I have done this better?

And so, my fellow students of life, may we take this thought into our day and keep it in the pockets of our minds for a time when it might be needed. 

– Gabriella Ivey

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *