In his book Will, actor Will Smith makes this interesting comparison: Life and school are very similar, with one stark difference. In school, you take the lesson and then write the test. In life, you take the test first, and then it’s up to you to learn the lesson. How good is that?
Daily life throws us into an examination room, where no one has prepared us for the questions. The wise among us reflect post-test, seeking insights and uncovering lessons. In business, we call this a learning environment – an essential tool to navigate the ever-changing tides of our world.
The Harvard Business Review defines the importance of learning environments like this:
Take note of the three verbs here: create, acquire, and transfer knowledge. These actions embody a learning environment. So, after any “test” in life or work, are you and your team engaging in these three vital steps? Post-test reflection is where wisdom emerges.
Seth Godin once said:
Let’s put this idea into practice with a real-life example:
The other day I was working with a client and she made a statement that stopped me in my tracks. She said, ‘I have better working relationships with people when I work from home.’ I was absolutely intrigued because my default message has always been that being physically together fosters stronger relationships.
Her company was testing a “work from home” policy. Now, a learning isn’t a space that simply asserts things; it leans into curiosity. In this environment we ask: what lessons could we create, acquire, or transfer from our experiences? As her coach, we began leaning into these questions. Here are three insights that emerged:
- Permission vs. Assumption
When working from home, people tend to ask for permission before engaging, like sending a message to check availability: “Do you have a moment to chat?” In the office, however, people often assume availability, which can feel intrusive.
- A limited view of Body Language
In the office, we see each other’s full body language, which can sometimes lead to misinterpretations. For example, folded arms or glances at a phone might trigger defensive reactions. On a screen, this is less obvious, reducing the chance of misreading others’ intentions.
- Self-Observation
With cameras on during virtual meetings, we see ourselves in a small window, which makes us more self-aware. This can heighten our consciousness of how we’re showing up and presenting ourselves to others.
These insights have fascinating implications for building trustful relationships. In trusting teams, autonomy (choice) tends to be high, body language is mostly positive, and individuals are self-aware of their presence and impact. For my client, these strengths seemed to emerge more naturally in virtual settings. The big question is: Can we bring these into the physical workspace?
The answer is an obvious yes – we just need to learn. Here are three simple practices, framed as questions, to foster these lessons in the office:
- Ask: ‘Is now a good time to chat?’
This small courtesy ensures you’re respecting others’ priorities instead of assuming your task is their top priority. The language we use sets the tone for how the conversation will go.
- Observe Body Language:
The advantage of being together is that we can see each other’s body language. Always err on having a ‘lean in body language.’ Better yet, ask: “What body language of mine am I unaware of that might distract or annoy you?”
- 3. Practice Self-Awareness:
Try to see yourself as others do. I know this is hard. A helpful question to ask yourself is, “If I were observing myself right now, what would I notice? Would I like what I see?”
These lessons are simple but powerful. What fascinates me most is how they emerge from curiosity and reflection during a moment where life has given us a test that’s up to us to learn from.
So, I ask you: What test are you writing that’s asking you to learn a lesson? At CAFE Life, we’d love to hear about it. Let’s create, acquire, and transfer knowledge together.
I’ll leave you with this thought from Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates:
